Nobody Likes a Cockblock

Nobody Likes a Cockblock Author R. Swanson
ISBN-10 0692636757
Year 2016-03-30
Pages 38
Language en
Publisher
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Nobody Likes A Cockblock is a full color paperback children's book for adults about woodland creature moms and dads just trying to get their swerve on. It's 32-pages of inappropriate prose that will leave you laughing about your sad life. It's perfect for birthday parties, baby showers, baptisms, and of course, wedding presents.

Monsters Eat Whiny Children

Monsters Eat Whiny Children Author Bruce Eric Kaplan
ISBN-10 1442439580
Year 2011-08-23
Pages 32
Language en
Publisher Simon and Schuster
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Dad has warned Henry and Eve: If you whine too much, monsters will eat you. Henry and Eve don’t listen, of course. The only problem is, when the monster comes, he can’t find the right recipe for whiny children—and neither can his monster friends! A whiny child salad doesn’t work because there’s paprika in the dressing. A whiny child cake won’t do because the flour spills all over the floor. And whiny child burgers are out of the question because the grill is too hard to light up. Arguments and hilarity ensue. And just when our persnickety monsters decide on the perfect dish…the worst thing of all happens….

Where Willy Went

Where Willy Went Author Nicholas Allan
ISBN-10 9780375983801
Year 2011-11-30
Pages 32
Language en
Publisher Knopf Books for Young Readers
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Never before have the facts of life been presented in such an accessible—or novel—way. Our hero is Willy, a little sperm who lives inside Mr. Browne with 300 million friends. Every day Willy practices for the Great Swimming Race. And when the day arrives, he swims faster than his 300 million friends to win the prize—a marvelous egg. Then something wonderful happens, and eventually Mr. and Mrs. Browne have a baby girl who has the same winning smile as Willy and who grows up to be a great swimmer. Hilariously funny, warm, and endearing, this is a picture book that appeals on different levels to both children and grown-ups. “Fresh, original, and imaginative. . . . Allan’s achievement is in couching fascinating facts within the construct of a gentle, direct narrative. A little knowledge is a wonderful thing, and as the rest of the facts of life fall into place, Allan’s readers will look back on this book with a mixture of fondness and wry amusement.” —The Guardian (UK)

The Night Dad Went to Jail

The Night Dad Went to Jail Author Melissa Higgins
ISBN-10 9781479521425
Year 2013-07-01
Pages 24
Language en
Publisher Capstone
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"When someone you love goes to jail, you might feel lost, scared, and even mad. What do you do? No matter who your loved one is, this story can help you through the tough times."--from cover, p. [4]

Go the Fuck to Sleep

Go the Fuck to Sleep Author Adam Mansbach
ISBN-10 9780857862662
Year 2011-06-16
Pages 32
Language en
Publisher Canongate Books
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Go the Fuck to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate and refreshingly honest, it captures the familiar and unspoken tribulations of putting your child to bed for the night. Colourfully illustrated and hilariously funny, this is a breath of fresh air for parents new, old, and expectant*. (*You should probably not read this to your children.)

Seriously You Have to Eat

Seriously  You Have to Eat Author Adam Mansbach
ISBN-10 9781617754111
Year 2015-09-14
Pages 32
Language en
Publisher Akashic Books
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The 100% kid-friendly, G-rated version of the New York Times best-selling parents' book, You Have to F**king Eat.

You Have to Fucking Eat

You Have to Fucking Eat Author Adam Mansbach
ISBN-10 9781782116370
Year 2014-11-12
Pages 32
Language en
Publisher Canongate Books
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From the author of the international best seller GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP comes a book about the other great parental frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal. Profane, loving and deeply cathartic, You Have to Fucking Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving mums and dads new, old, grand- and expectant a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem. You probably shouldn't read it to your children.

Seriously Just Go to Sleep

Seriously  Just Go to Sleep Author Adam Mansbach
ISBN-10 9781617753497
Year 2014-09-11
Pages 32
Language en
Publisher Akashic Books
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"Now there's a version, complete with more of the gorgeous, yet weirdly subversive illustrations. The best part? It's still funny. The rhythms, the plodding rhymes, the illustrations, the clever play on the overused trope of the world at bedtime -- they all work together to take Seriously, Just Go to Sleep beyond parody and into the realm where good children's books belong: things that parents, and children, can honestly come to from different places and enjoy together. I can imagine reading Seriously, Go to Sleep nightly, and even to the point where you're begging the child to choose something else (the ultimate compliment for a picture book) and yet still finding something to enjoy. It captures a different 'zeitgeist' of modern parenting." --New York Times "From the team that touched off the irreverent humor trend Go the F**k to Sleep, author Adam Mansbach and illustrator Ricardo Cortes, comes a new kid-friendly version of their instant comic classic. Seriously, Just Go to Sleep brings children in on the joke, helping them understand their own tactics and why their parents just want them to go . . . to sleep." --Publishers Weekly Critical success for the original Go the F*** to Sleep, a #1 best seller at: New York Times, Amazon.com, Wall Street Journal, Publishers Weekly, and many more! Seriously, Just Go to Sleep is the G-rated, traditional-sized, children's version of the book every parent has been talking about. Go the F*** to Sleep, the picture book for adults, became a cultural sensation by striking a universal chord for parents. Now, Adam Mansbach and Ricardo Cortés reunite with Seriously, Just Go to Sleep, inviting the children themselves in on the joke. As parents know, kids are well aware of how difficult they can be at bedtime. With Cortés's updated illustrations (including a cameo appearance by Samuel L. Jackson, who narrated the audio book version of Go the F*** to Sleep) and Mansbach's new child-appropriate narrative, the book allows kids to recognize their tactics, giggle at their own mischievousness, and empathize with their parents' struggles--a perspective most children's books don't capture. Most importantly, it provides a common ground for children and their parents to talk about one of the most stressful aspects of parenting. Seriously, Just Go to Sleep came to be when Mansbach read a highly censored rendition of the original book to his three-year-old daughter, and she recognized herself as the culprit and was delighted. "We were getting a lot of feedback from parents, saying that their kids loved the book--read in an altered form--because they recognized themselves in the character of the mischievous kid who's winning the bedtime battle, and thought it was hilarious. So we figured we’d do a companion volume that lets kids in on the fun."

All My Friends Are Dead

All My Friends Are Dead Author Avery Monsen
ISBN-10 9781452135380
Year 2013-10-01
Pages 96
Language en
Publisher Chronicle Books
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If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life while exploring each cartoon character's unique grievance and wide-eyed predicament. From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable.

Where the Wild Moms Are

Where the Wild Moms Are Author Katie Blackburn
ISBN-10 0571329497
Year 2016-04-05
Pages 32
Language en
Publisher
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In this hilarious, touching homage to Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are, a worn-out mom finds herself floating across time and space to the place where the Wild Moms are. Dazzled by her party tricks, they crown her Queen of the Wild Moms and try to entice her to join their conga . . . But Mom has just remembered who she loves best of all . . . Lovingly illustrated by the award-winning Sholto Walker, this little book is the perfect gift for baby showers, new moms -- or any mom who's ever wanted to go on strike.

Can I Sit on Your Lap While You re Pooping

Can I Sit on Your Lap While You re Pooping Author Matthew Carroll
ISBN-10 9781613129333
Year 2016-03-08
Pages 144
Language en
Publisher Abrams
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As a single dad, Matthew Carroll didn’t always have someone to share in his frequent laughter and incredulity at the various things his daughter, Morgan, said. Hoping to docu­ment some of her best commentary, Carroll took to recording her choicest quotes on his iPhone when she was between the ages of three and five. He then compiled them chronologically in a small homemade volume for friends and family who, compelled by the hilarious and touching content, encouraged him to share it with a larger audience. Can I Sit on Your Lap While You’re Pooping? is the record of the hilarious, crazy, and touching pronouncements of a little girl, but it’s also the irresistible documentation of the love between a parent and child.

Bad Little Children s Books

Bad Little Children s Books Author Arthur C. Gackley
ISBN-10 9781613129913
Year 2016-09-06
Pages 112
Language en
Publisher Abrams
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In Bad Little Children’s Books, illustrator Arthur C. Gackley creates hysterical parodies of children’s book covers from more innocent times. Many of these original books focus on life’s lessons, joys, and curiosities. Gackley cleverly takes the books’ classic covers and turns them into unforgettable, edgy, politicaly incorrect parodies that speak to the bad little kid in all of us. With a catalog of children’s book titles like Peeping Tommy Goes Cougar Hunting, Cousin Milky Is Lactose Intolerant, and The Blind Child’s Picture Dictionary, this collection will have readers in stitches. A fun read for parents, grown-ups, and kids-at-heart everywhere, Bad Little Children’s Books leaves no bad joke unmade.

Questions for Terrible People

Questions for Terrible People Author Wes Hazard
ISBN-10 9781440597534
Year 2016-10-01
Pages 256
Language en
Publisher Simon and Schuster
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Guaranteed to bring out the worst in people! Would you rather attend a funeral while high on laughing gas or go to your own wedding doped up on horse tranquilizers? Which famous figure, living or dead, would be the most terrifying to be tickled by? Which is greater: The number of times you've given money to a panhandler on the street or the number of times you've dropped change on the ground and left it there because you didn't feel like bending over? If you seriously considered these questions, this book is for you. If you didn't, don't worry--you're probably still a terrible person. Use the other 247 questions in this book to find out just how terrible that is. Featured in The Washington Post Style Section!